Roots

This is Mike, here to introduce something Kristi wrote. I appreciate her so much, and am so blessed by how God is working in her life. We have been through so much change over the past year after transitioning out of full-time church ministry, selling our home in California, saying goodbye to family and friends, moving to Wisconsin, and entering a 4-year missionary training program. After reading (with permission) a journal entry of hers this week, I asked permission to transcribe it and share it on our blog. She didn’t originally intend anyone to read it, so it lacks the pretense and polish that can often accompany writing. What struck me was her honesty about the struggles she faces, and her faith as she looks to the Lord in the midst of it all. I hope it’s an encouragement to you.

Kristi ~ December 7, 2010

I have been thinking lately about belonging, security, routine, and roots, and have been missing those feelings. Memories of spending time with our family in our own home, playing in the yard, doing yard work, and swimming in the kiddie pool on the hot summer days are consuming my thoughts. I hope I am not ripping security from my kids, and that they are adjusting well.

My roots seemingly have been cut from where I felt comfortable. It’s not that I feel too uncomfortable here, in fact I have enjoyed being here a lot. It just dawns on me sometimes that my little family of four left everything that was safe and predictable, and now live without a job in Wisconsin. We got rid of well over half of our belongings, and are still always trying to get rid of more. Here we are trying to live a balanced life of raising our kids while going to Bible school, and I feel lost [misplaced]. It seems so silly to even say that I feel lost. I have learned so much here and have really tried to stay away from being attached to material or earthly possessions. I have been looking at eternity and realize that this is what we were made for. Still, I don’t want to mess up our kids, and one day hear them say, we moved so much, my parents made me get rid of stuff all the time, I had to change schools in the middle of school years, leave friends behind, watch friends move on, and I hated it! How can we establish roots in such a fast paced, unpredictable, different life style?? Maybe our roots aren’t going to be attached to one city as the kids are growing up, or one house, or one steady group of friends, but rather to Christ and our position in Him. A tree has roots, and unlike the roots of a tree that don’t actually grow towards anything, or in any particular direction, my roots, and that of my family’s, are to grow toward Christ and attach themselves to [Him] the giver of life. I need to learn how to do this better. In order to avoid root disease there needs to be a healthy, vigorous environment around the tree. I can apply a lot to my life using this analogy.

I want my kids to know and love God and learn to put their trust in Him and be secure in Him. The examples they see through my actions will help them grow. What is ‘normal’ will change from time to time in the life we are leading, and it may not always be fun or easy. I hope as a family we can unite together and create a new normal, with our security firmly planted in the Lord, while establishing a home full of love and commitment, and enjoying our relationships both near and far. The saying ‘Home is Where the Heart Is’ can mean something. As best I can as a Mom, I will help my kids look to the Lord as they go through struggles. The truth is, from what I can see, they have been adjusting very well. I just really want to be aware of the subtle things, and not be too busy to notice them. Oh, and it’s probably okay to be a little homesick. ~ Kristi